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              Larry  Woolf                  Auction Service

Complete Auctioneer Service's to the Springfield Branson Missouri Metropolitan Community



Another Trillion Video

Blog posts : "Jokes"

Black Cab's

Black Cabs! You just got to love the Brits.
A devout Arab Muslim entered a black cab in London , He curtly asked the cabbie to turn off the radio because…

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"George Bush, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin all die and go to hell.

"George Bush, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin all die and go to hell.


While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for. The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth.


Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he is finished the devil informs him th…

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We Were Campaigning

While walking down the street one day a Corrupt Senator(that may be redundant) was tragically hit by a car and died.

His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

"Welcome to heaven," says St.. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see…

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My Last Trip to Costco


Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Jake, the Wonder Dog, and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had an elephant? So because I'm retired and have little to do,…

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I think my dog is a member of Congress !!!!

It's just dawned on me.... 
My dog sleeps about 20 hours a  day.
He  has his food prepared for him. He can eat whenever he wants.
His meals are provided at no cost to him. 
He visits the doctor once a year for his checkup, and again during the year if any medical

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I want to be 8 again !!!!!

To Be 8 again!

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife, who was looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her birthday.

"I'd like to be eight again", she replied, still looking in the mirror .

On the morning of …

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Even the Cartoonist's Are In On This One

Cartoons are getting tough in Europe ...............BUT NOT IN THE USA!

Funny that foreign newspapers will print what our left-leaning media will not!  

You know things are bad when even the cartoonists make fun of such things!

If you don't want to forward this
For fear of off…

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Male or Female ???????

Male or Female?    You might not know this but a lot of non-living objects are actually either male or female.  Here are some examples:  
FREEZER BAGS:  They are male, because they hold everything in but you can see right through them.

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Seeing Eye Dog's

Two women were out for a Saturday stroll. One had a Doberman and the other, a Chihuahua . As they walked down the street, the one with the Doberman Said to her friend, "Let's go over to that bar for a drink." 

The lady with the Chihuahua said, "We can't go in there.
We've got dogs with us."


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Thought's By Ducky


I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with 'Guess' on it. 
So I said 'Implants?'  She hit me.

Marriage changes passion. 
Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own…

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Need Oil ??



A lot of  folks can't understand how we came   to  have an …

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What's Wrong With Society

"......And we wonder what is wrong with society today.

This should help you understand. It's lawyers and politicians.

Lord’s prayer:………………………........……………….66 words.

10 Commandments: …………………….........…………. 179 words.

Gettysburg address: ……

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Advising the New Priest

Advising The New Priest
The new priest is nervous about hearing confessions, so he asks the older priest to sit in on his sessions. The new priest hears a couple of confessions, then the old priest asks him to step out of the confessional for a few suggestions.
The old priest suggests, "Cros…

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Inner Peace

Inner peace




I'm passing this on because it worked for me today...Dr Oz on TV said that to reach inner peace we should always finish things we start, and we all could use more calm in our lives during the hectic Holiday season. I looked around my house to find thin…

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They Call him SIR !


LOOK AT THIS MOOSE - They call him "Sir"
By the length of his beard and the grey legs, I figure he must be over 10 years old. He looks to be well over 8 feet at the top of the shoulder hump,and with his head up the height to the top of his antler must be …

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There are Teacher's Then there are Educator's

Lipstick in School (priceless)

According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington
was recently faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were
beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine,
but after they put on their lipstick, they woul…

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16 blog posts